This is the Sex Machine Cider, made by Western Australia’s Funk Cider. Slap that bass, this cider is here to clean your pool, it’s going to get freaky. 

Funk Cider was created by two brothers who were in the fresh juice trade. Now they have turned to cider as a way to use the juice. The boys are on a mission to only use real juice, keep it unpasteurized and preservative-free. So, we might never see this cider heading east with the logistical issues that presents.

Let’s talk about branding. There is no faux heritage labelling here, they are not trying to recreate a romantic memory of a time that never was. It’s wham, Sex Machine Cider, red on black. It’s distinctive and bold. They are going for a younger crowd, the type who unless they know better would be at the end of a “Rekopperberg” full of artificial flavours. Instead, the Sex Machine Cider is strutting in with a bold look and a sweet flavour.

The black label (not always straight, but hey it lets you know it’s a handmade product) leads into a coated black can, as Funk Cider know people are going drink this, directly from the can. The black coating prevents any of the metallic taste that the bare aluminium cans often give off.

Funk Cider Sex Machine Cider can

The Nose

I’ve poured Funk’s Cider into a stemless wine glass to help reveal the flavours. It struts out with slight rosé pink colour.

The Sex Machine Cider is full of passion….. fruit, passion fruit. This is sitting right between a summer pavlova and a Rosé wine. As it warms it reveals more of a sweet sherry scent and a whiff of vanilla bean.

The Taste

The first sip confirms the label on the can, this is a sweet cider in anyone’s book. Bombastic bubbles help to temper the sweetness. The Rosé connotation flows over from the scent to the taste with some berry goodness. The French oak layers in a vanilla flavoured satin sheet smoothness.

Final thoughts on the Sex Machine Cider.

I don’t know if I could ride the Sex Machine all night, but I’ll come back tomorrow night for another turn. It’s the smoothness that does it for me. Normally something this sweet would be sticky and cling on. But Funk Cider have managed to make the Sex Machine have plenty of fruit and sweetness with a finish crisp, definitive… premature? Nah, satisfied.

Product Sex Machine Cider
Company Funk Cider
Sweetness Sweet
Alc/Vol  4.5%
Country of Origin Australia
Region Western Australia

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